HOW THE PRINCESS OF POP MADE THE IMPOSSIBLE POSSIBLE

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Kylie Minogue. Two words, one human. A woman whose career in the entertainment industry has spanned 4 decades. Impressive to say the least, as she is one of the few musical international superstars that hasn’t fallen into the cracks of declining popularity, and still has a huge following from her fan base.

Yes, some people hate her for having such a nice arse (including me) and the fact she manages to rock a pair of golden hotpants without looking like an extra in Pretty Woman. She’s incredibly beautiful, and that’s coming from a gay man – but even if I had a chance she’s 5’1 and I’m 6’4, so I’d look like a tragic Leaning Tower of Pisa.

Anyway, her Fever album (released in 2001) was one of the first CDs I actually bought, and I instantly got it after hearing Love at First Sight, which to me is still one of the best dance records to be released in the 00s. I’ve always admired her credibility and wilingness to shift genres.

Flashback to the 80s, and she was in the management of Stock, Aitken and Waterman for six years, who managed to put her on the map with her catchy cheese-fest tracks like Hand on your Heart, I Should be so Lucky, and the camp and probably the most dreadful love song, which exudes more passion than a 3 inch dildo, Especially For You with Jason Donovan, which we will not go into. AT. ALL.

The album that I’m going to talk about is way before the “la la la la” song and the pairing video for it, where she looks like she had a fist fight with the Andrex puppy. Who the fuck knew that toilet paper would look so sexually alluring? I’ve tried and I looked like giant loo roll holder. NOT CUTE.

Rewind to 1997.

So this article is actually about an album that was ridden of by critics, and called Impossible Princess. Yes, that album. The one slagged off by the UK, saying they didn’t like how Kylie had gone all funky and indie. Listeners overseas had taste; they absolutely fucking loved it, which is why this album is labelled (by some, namely me) as the most misunderstood album of all time.

The one where everyone thought she’d had an epihany and become some sultry strip tease singer and lost her marbles, however she proved that she was an inventor of changing egos, alongside other popular artists such as Janet, Björk and Madonna. This album screams influences from Björk, as well as Garbage, The Prodigy and The Verve.

The front cover of the album looks like some sort of avatar in confidment, but trying to go to some alien whore club, which slyly makes sense. However, this probably has to be the best work of her whole career, collecting different genres to make it into a drum ‘n’ bass/indie rock record. It’s strange on paper but it works, as cliché as that sounds.

I bought this album back in 2010, when I was going through my Kylie moment, and it stuck. Never since Brandy’s Afrodisac, and later Britney’s Blackout, has a record had such a profound effect, where I felt captivated, to just be in a silent room and have this record on.

It was indeed a step in the right direction: It was bold, dark and haunting. She had the help of the Manic Street Preachers and also Brothers in Rhythm, who produced the majority of the album, and shaped it with depth and versatility, although some people may point it out that it lacks cohesion. And it does incoporate many genres such as a dreamy electronica (Say Hey, Jump and Breathe), guitar driven indie-pop (Did it Again, Some Kind of Bliss and I Don’t Need Anyone) and almost like drum ‘n’ bass/rave (Too Far, Limbo and Drunk).

And the final tracks, Through the Years and Dreams, almost sound like music you’d hear from Bjork on her Debut and Homogenic albums, or Madonna’s Bedtime Stories, yet Kylie surprisingly makes it more aurally pleasing; her voice coos and swoons through every syllable, making you want to have sex anywhere and anyplace.

My standout track on this album is Too Far. To describe it is like a euphoric feeling which, as cliché as it sounds, is almost like an orgasm; the heavy breathing, the strong trance tempo, and the textured sexual vibrato. Any more describing you will have me calling a buddy to help me out.

Before I end this article, a fact: It was released as Impossible Princess, but had to be changed to a self-titled album (her second), due to the tragic death of Princess Diana. This album nearly killed her career (confused asf) but Kylie found a resurge of popularity with her Light Years album, which reinvented her into a more mature pop star that could mould into a genre and find it as a trend setter.

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