Flags. Flapping aimlessly in the wind has never been more significant than a flag at a festival. Often view obscuring, but also frequently amusing; judge the tone right and your flag could be the toast of social media. Parading a flag at Glastonbury is putting your creativity and humour on the world stage, and not for the faint hearted. If you have the wit, and physical dexterity, a world of kudos could be swiftly sent your way. Fail, and you will simply be ‘that dick with the flag’.

This years selection ranged from the sublime to the ridiculous, to the outright hideous (the memory will linger – a raggedy tarpaulin off of a skip taped to a pole). So here are my top five spots at this years glittering Glastonbury Festival:

5. Quiches Lorraine If you don’t know who Brian Butterfield is – you’re missing out on the off-the-wall world of Peter Serafanwiscz’s BBC comedy series from 2007. If you do, the phrase ‘Treat Day’ will illicit tears of joy. Brian Butterfield remains a cult comedy legend. We salute you, Brian.

4. Jurassic Park The enduring appeal of Alan Partridge means he is now a festival staple, whether it be in mask form, or as shown here with one of his many classic Partridgisms. Back of the net!

3. Bollox to Brexit A veritable selection box of Brexit/anti-May themed flags to pick over. But why overthink things when a simple mis spelled ‘Bollock’ will suffice. Fair point well made.

2. Leo A giant (unflattering) photo print of Leonardo Dicaprio when he was siginificantly younger – to a big fan ‘their heart will go on’ for some time to come I’m sure.

1. Eamon Holmes And a witty play on words, mean this one is a no brainier for best spot this year. I’d love to know how daytime TV legend Eamon feels about being immortalised in such a way. How does it feel to be watching Ed Sheeran on BBC2 with a cup of cocoa to suddenly see your face 20ft up amongst 100,000 people?! Sadly if you’re not Eamon Holmes, you’ll never know…

Honourble mention. Fork Handles It’s not just from a Two Ronnies sketch, it’s from THE Two Ronnies sketch (ask your Dad). The accompanying flag ‘Four Candles’ was also present, but sadly not snapped.

Dis-honourable mention Not a flag, but sometimes the bizarre will be branded across a T-shirt (you’ve been to Primark, right?) rather than held aloft, as is the case with this gent, who much like Monica Lewinsky had Bill Clinton all over his top…

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